A: Bachelorette’s Ballad

Another week, and I am still single. The best part is that I’m fine with that. I really have put my trust in the man upstairs, and He has never failed me before. So I’m good.

I do want to talk a little about Valentine’s Day though. To preface, I have something to say. I do what I want, and I’m going to express myself. Mine was awesome, bee tee dubs.

So I went to work on Valentine’s Day, and my coworker told me that his friend was murdered. I asked the necessary questions, and he showed me his phone. He had me read this long Facebook status. I was expecting to read the horrific story of how his friend died. I wasn’t excited or anything, I just like details. What I ended up reading was something totally different. Take note, he wasn’t actually murdered. Guys can be so dramatic.

The status described oh-so-eloquently how Friend (this will be what I call him), the one tragically murdered, woke up super early, ran to a girl’s residence hall, was locked out for a while, and then finally ran upstairs to surprise her with his Valentine’s Day gift to her. Seems romantic enough, right? Where’s the death, you ask? Well I asked the same thing because according to what I was reading, that was one lucky girl! So then my coworker tells me, “This is where he was murdered.” He let me read the girl’s response to Friend’s long Facebook status to her. It read “Thank you! You are such a great friend!”

I felt so hurt for him. I really am not the empathetic type, but I felt like I got slapped in the face. Naturally, we spent the rest of the shift talking about the infamous Friend Zone.

Duh. Everyone knows what the Friend Zone is. WRONG. I learned too much about it in only two hours, and I ended up feeling bad for the male species. I took a little survey at work, and these were two of the things they said about the Friend Zone: “It’s a slow removal of your balls,” and it is “Hell on Earth.” I mean, the story of Friend was an epic example of how girls just don’t see what they have in front of them. I would include myself in this generalization, but I can’t admit that I’m the same way. Don’t judge me.

Now let me ask you ladies, why can’t we see a good thing in front of us? I understand that we don’t want to settle, but if you never give anyone a chance (who is deserving), how can you say you’re settling? Just think about it.

I know that attraction is not solely based on looks. It has something to do with chemistry as well, and last time I checked, chemistry is a science. So, instead of being so quick to say what you don’t like about someone, just focus on the things that are special about that person. You never know when you are passing someone up who would treat you like a Queen [or King].

Once if you’ve given them the chance, then you can figure out whether or not to drop them.

Hint: I love grapefruit juice.