Q: “Tell me about yourself.”
A: I never know how to respond to this, no matter how many times I hear it. I mean, I could say:
“Well, I’m Maria. I hail from this little place called NOVA. Maybe you’ve heard of it. I spend way too much of my time on the Internet, and Netflix by extension. I listen to weird Indie music that no one has ever really heard of. I have a list of movies and shows that I love and will never stop talking about. As for major, I am so far past Undecided I can’t even see it in my rear-view mirror. Oh, and I have a cat.”
If that’s what I told people every time I introduced myself, I’m pretty sure they’d run in terror. No one wants a 100-word monologue from a random person they’ve just met, particularly if that person mentions cats.
However I, Maria Scaptura, will be writing a helpful and probably ridiculous advice column for all you lovely folks who read The Captain’s Log called “How to Solve a Problem Like Maria.” You know, ‘cause my name’s Maria… never mind. I thought it was cute. Now, my editor said I have to write a snippet introducing myself to you all. A 500-word snippet. This would probably be the point where you run screaming.
But back to me. Like I said, I’m Maria. I worked on my high school newspaper for three years, and was Editor my senior year. I also worked with the yearbook for two years, but that just gave me more time to work on the newspaper. Yeah, I can honestly say I was a newspaper nerd. Any free minute I had at school was spent in our newsroom. Lunches, afterschool, my government class… all there. I’d spend five hours straight looking at the computer screen. Not that anything has really changed much now that I’m at college. I still spend hours looking at my computer screen, but now it’s just all on Netflix or homework. Yeah, let’s say homework. My adviser would be proud.
Anyhow, there’s a little glimpse into my high school life (pretty sad, I know). Fast-forward six months and I’m here, at CNU. Honestly, I picked this school because it was nice to look at and flat. Quite honestly, I expected the weather to be nicer, but after the past few weeks, I don’t know anymore. I’m in the Honors Program, and I have ever-so-recently joined Greek life as a member of Alpha Delta Pi (shine bright girls). That’s about it. I haven’t done much else yet, but I’m only on my second semester. I still don’t have a major—and, Lord help me, I better find one sometime soon.
Other little things that might be fun to know about me: I used to play bass guitar (like a badass). I went to Disney World over winter break with my best friend, and I really like vegetables but hate almost all fruit. I know.
It’s weird. I have lots of weird eating habits, but that’s a whole other discussion.
This column will be published weekly on a blog of some sort, but every month or so, it will be published in the Lifestyle section of the paper, so look out for that. I will be taking questions, quandaries, predicaments or whatever is weighing you down, so just email or tweet at me: email@example.com or @seriouslyscappy.
Thanks for reading, and I hope to be answering some of your questions soon!
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